Opinion
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Opinion
Preparing for the Apocalypse
It has been predicted that the world is going to end on 21 December 2012. This column will now be dedicated to detailing exactly how prepared I am for this inevitable Apocalypse. The answer, as you will see, is 'TOTALLY FUCKING VERY' Read more »| 01 Feb 2012 -
Opinion
What do comedians expect from reviewers?
Reviewers are an occupational hazard for comedians, but who reviews the reviewers? Local legend Teddy tells us what he'd like to see in critics. Read more »| 25 Jan 2012 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws: January Horoscopes
ARIESAfter going off the rails at New Year and thereafter orbiting through a belt of her own sick astronomers discover Venus is pregnant with another planet.... Read more »| 11 Jan 2012 -
Opinion
The Apocalypse: An Introduction
We always knew the world would end; the signs were obvious. Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked taking $443,140,005 at the box office is pretty much how the... Read more »| 10 Jan 2012 -
Opinion
2012: The Impenetrable Click's User Guide
What does the future hold? Will the Mayan prophecy come true in 2012? What should I have for lunch? Glasgow sketch anarchists The Impenetrable Click answer your questions about the year ahead... Read more »| 10 Jan 2012 -
Opinion
Santa And I Are Done Professionally
Generally, science makes everything better. There's hardly a thing in the world that can't be improved upon by introducing 5 AAA batteries and an electr... Read more »| 05 Dec 2011
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Opinion
Esoteric Spiritual Christmas Gifts from Mystic Mark
During my travels throughout this gullible globe I have met many like me, who are seekers. Seekers of wisdom and truth alike, yes, but also seekers of som... Read more »| 05 Dec 2011 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws: December Horoscopes
ARIESMercury is lubing up for another lunge at your orbit. Brace yourself for both good and bad news. The bad news is, despite taking a police baton to the h... Read more »| 01 Dec 2011 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws - November Horoscopes
ARIES You commence November still wriggling on that spike you fell on in October like a grub on a hook, desperately trying to reach your mobile phone with y... Read more »| 01 Nov 2011 -
Opinion
TWITTER: Telling our planet's most exciting celebrities that you're a fucking idiot
Blogger Fred Fletch finally catches on to the Twitterverse and uses it to upset respected actor John Lithgow Read more »| 31 Oct 2011 -
Opinion
Terra Nova – Sexy TV?
I like to rate the shows I watch on a scientifically acknowledged scale known as “IF THIS SHOW HAD TITS, HOW MUCH WOULD I WANT TO FUCK IT?’Steven... Read more »| 19 Oct 2011 -
Opinion
2 & A Half Quarts of Warlock Blood
The new series of 2 & a Half Men is upon us.The popular Charlie Sheen/John Cryer sitcom returns to our screens with all the usual wisecracks and cool one... Read more »| 17 Oct 2011 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws: October Horoscopes
ARIESIn October you finally fall on that spike all your friends bought you for your birthday back in April.TAURUSThis month you suffer a suspiciously realist... Read more »| 30 Sep 2011 -
Opinion
X-FACTOR 2011: Because apparently I hate my brain
Kelly Rowland exclaims excitedly that "There are some pretty amazing acts coming out of Britain right now," which, strictly speaking, is true if by ‘ac... Read more »| 30 Sep 2011 -
Opinion
Celebrity Big Brother – It's Time
It's hard to connect to people. We are all so different. Each of us a unique individual with near infinite variations of tastes, likes, dislikes, passions a... Read more »| 07 Sep 2011