My Glasgow: Marc Jennings

Comedian Marc Jennings has an unusual way to thwart muggers and plenty to say on new health trends in Glasgow – perhaps we should have titled his column My Clydebank.

Feature by Marc Jennings | 23 Mar 2015

Having been offline since the start of January for an experiment about internet use, I’ve learned a few things about Glasgow.

For one, you’re much less likely to have your phone stolen if you get rid of your Samsung Galaxy and replace it with an old Nokia 3310. Being able to play Snake isn’t high on the list of priorities for most petty criminals.

Glasgow has its own distinctive character that’s different from anywhere else in Scotland. Alasdair Gray once said “there is no greater distance between two cities than between Glasgow and Edinburgh,” which explains why he lost his job as a geography teacher and had to start writing books instead.

Every year Edinburgh holds the biggest arts festival in the world, and almost no one in Glasgow bats an eyelid. But as soon as they open a doughnut shop, there’s twenty-mile tailbacks on the M8.

Glasgow’s not the most health-conscious place in the world, a city where most people’s only exposure to fruit is with a shot of tequila. And even that comes with salt.

I actually live in Clydebank, which is just outside the city boundary. It's a boundary which seems to exist solely for the purpose of allowing taxi drivers to charge you extra when coming back from a night out.

Clydebank’s claim to fame is that it was bombed by the Germans in the Second World War. But if you walk through the streets of Clydebank today, you’d be forgiven for thinking WWII took place sometime in the last fortnight.

There’s an awesome wee bar just round from Glasgow Central Station called Yesbar, which has great pizzas, beers and live comedy. It’s probably my favourite place to go, particularly when I’m on stage there... just like I will be on Sunday.


More from The Skinny:


Idealist v Realist: Liam Williams interviewed

Spotlight: Seann Walsh takes on Fred Fletch

Marc Jennings: Disconnected, YesBar, 29 Mar, 7.30pm, £4. http://glasgowcomedyfestival.com/shows/985