Chris Dangerfield: Sex Tourist
So then, tell us about your show?
I decided to go to Thailand and be a sex tourist but things didn't go entirely according to plan. I lost an ounce of methamphetamine in my anal canal, eventually managing to violently hook it out with an exceptionally unforgiving fork. I had a Viagra overdose resulting in a 16 hour erection. I shot a 9mm Browning pistol at some naked children in a brothel. Some quite bad and regrettable things happened too.
How have your previews been going?
I'm very good.
How are you going to keep it fresh for the full three weeks?
I'm guessing the same people won't be coming each night so that's got to work in my favour, right?
Is it ultimately worth coming to the Fringe?
Of course not.
Do you have a guaranteed, surefire flyering technique?
Flirt. Once they fancy you, give them your business card (flyer).
What's your health regime for the Fringe?
Nostalgic contact highs from the plethora of local junkies.
What's the worst mistake people make at the Fringe?
Being Jeff Leach.
Last year's Fringe was all about the London riots. What major news event do you think will force you to hurriedly rewrite your 2012 show?
Do you pay your taxes?
Yes. I think street lighting and the bombing of civilians in Afghanistan is important.
What was your favourite joke when you were a kid?
Throwing stones at kids with learning difficulties.
What's wrong with a nice beach holiday?
The nice beach holiday.
Fur protesters chuck red paint on people; how should anti-sex tourism protesters go about it?
I think they should follow me out to Thailand, wait for me to find a prostitute wearing real fur, and then throw red paint on us. I'll pay.
What do you rate the Fringe as a sex destination?
The Chinese/Russian prostitute 'Cherry' I spent a lot of time with last year was a consistent 7/10. 'Monika' had magic hands that put her at a steady 8/10 during many repeat visits. The few girls that were not sex workers who I slept with who then insisted on staying all night, going for breakfast with me and asking for phone numbers etc, dragged the average down to a just acceptable 3/10.
Who else are you hoping to see while you're in Edinburgh?
Arsenal v Sunderland first match of the Season.