Clubbing Highlights – March 2011

I suppose the expectation is that the pro-democracy stooshie over in Egypt might inspire students to put another shift in at the Houses of Parliament, re-upped with a Helvetica placard and a Twitter account. But, try as we might, we can't imagine that the political impact of removing an entrenched autodidact from three decades of power would be usurped by a campaign to keep spoilt English kids dressed in Jack Wills and soaked in Jaegerbomb slurry.

If you're looking for a real revolution, then you're already too late. Beneath Jamaica Street, a few hundred jammy bastards will huddle together on 4 March (exchanging smug, silent, congratulatory glances) to enjoy a sold-out, three hour banger from Ricardo Villalobos, who'll be orchestrating a Sub Club rave so free of order and civil obedience it'll make Tahrir Square look like a slide show exhibition at the Fruitmarket Gallery.

Lest we be charged with antagonising the ECA cognoscenti, the Art Department's forthcoming visit to Scotland presents an offer you, er, can't refuse. Tictactoe host Toronto duo Kenny Glasgow and Jonny White at The Arches on 4 March, with a date the next day at The Lane for Rendezvous' 1st birthday. A forthcoming album via Crosstown Rebels is imminent, and if it's anything as good as the rohypnol house of Vampire Club/Without You, then you'd best drink up and ignore the creep in the trenchcoat lurking near your glass. Extending Crosstown Rebels' profile in Glasgow will be Damian Lazarus, who will, along with Slam, make an appearance at Return To Mono at the Subby on 11 March.

Few producers kissed off 2010 with an EP as thoroughly rinsed as Jacques Greene's The Look. Greene's next helping of house and arranbee, Another Girl, will preface his forthcoming visits to Glasgow's GSA, featuring proper good rapper Lil B, and Edinburgh's Heard It Through The Bassline, relocating to Sneaky Pete's on this occasion, on 14 March. Alongside Greene on the latter date will be Google-proof producer Klaus, whose neurotic, polyrhythmic dubstep is a bleak as it is affecting, and isn't far off sounding like a FWD>> afterparty in the middle of nuclear winter. A sort of calm before the skin-blistering radioactive storm, if you will.

Fortified with centuries old brick and whisky spit, Cab Vol seems a more robust proposition for fallout evasion, mostly because it's a) underground, and b) of a sturdy architectural constitution, although the latter might be subject to a thorough once-over by Cooly G's sub-bass wandering house, assuming that her date at Ultragroove on 19 March follows the script.

Glasgow has the last word here with two sterling dates to keep your eye on. Onur Özer is Bigfoot's Tea Party's latest ta-da headliner, which you can wave your jazz hands to on 18 March. The Day After Ricardo, you can get stuck into a live set from Minus-approved Heartthrob at the GSA-hosted Nomad on 5 March, as long as your liver and sleep cycle can take it.