October Comedy Highlights

Brendan Burns? I don't know why a drunken ozzy is such a speciality in the UK when there are thousands of them in Australia. He's not even attractive, but maybe you got a ticket to his special gig at The Stand last month and actually found the usual pile of slurry bollocks that comes out of a drunken ozzy's mouth funny. Good job you. Do it again on 3 Oct at 8pm.

Tim Minchin is another ozzy, he - like Burns - also has particularly bad hair and a gig at the Lemon Tree, Aberdeen on 23 Oct. This gig will probably make you laugh and set you back about £15, though don't worry about coming home with an empty wallet as the Lemon Tree are brewing up their own funny ha-has by closing the bar when the gig starts. What the fuck?!

If you don't manage to keep it down up north, The Stand in Edinburgh hosts The Wicked Wenches. Consisting of Sarah Millican, Al Kennedy, Maureen Younger and Susan Calman. It's on 7 & 8 Oct from 8.30pm and they'll be harvesting giggles for around £5. If you don't fancy girls try the male and gorgeous Danny Bhoy on 17 Oct at the Rep Theatre, Dundee. Guaranteed to give your granny the fanny-gallops and a laugh, he also has great hair, and face. [Penny Green]