SKINNY jeans

Straight up, no nonsense: fashion is stealing. With the last truly unique fashion idea born back when Karl Lagerfeld still had his own face, everything in our postmodern world is borrowed, burgled and recycled. So now, at the beginning of a new fashion year, ask not what novelties lie ahead, but rather whose pockets you'll be picking.

Plunder the past

What do you get if you mix Spring/Summer's pandemic floral trend with layering hung over from Autumn/Winter (and you'll have to – this is Scotland, sweets)? Crack out your teenage angst and iron your Pearl Jam posters, because the answer is grunge, children. Though more Kings of Leon in checked shirts and epidermis-flush grey denim than Cobain's grubby cardigan; grungy layering will persist all the way to festival season. And when we're not being Bridget Fonda in Singles, we'll be doing ruffles, brights, lavender, orange, and the 40s.

Misappropriate from the media

There was a time, not so long ago, when fashion magazines barely had to fish for style inspiration. Why bother, when every Friday night, a big, juicy angelfish leapt on to their hooks, already in batter? Her name was Carrie Bradshaw, and this summer, the corsage is back, widescreen and feature-length. Expect rampant fashion larceny on the release of Sex and the City: The Movie; and for the pretenders to Carrie's TV crown, try Gossip Girl (ITV2). From the boffins responsible for The O.C., Gossip Girl resembles a serialised Cruel Intentions and its take on preppy chic has made it the new BFF of stateside stylemakers. Let's be clear, Gossip Girl is obscene, conspicuous wealth at its most vulgar: over-privileged and under-fed teenagers with no-limit credit cards, an insubstantial moral index, and surnames ending in Roman numerals. But it is going to make you want a blazer.

Steal from the stylish

The trend for celebrity-authored and designer diffusion lines is here to stay, so make peace with plagiarizing the good and great, and get your Stella McCartney for Lesportsac handbag on order now. Also noteworthy is the Lee Cooper range by French starlet and Jane Birkin spawn, Lou Doillon. Tuxedo jackets and wide leg jeans, ingeniously inspired by literary tea leaf, the Artful Dodger.

Rip off a rainbow

Skinny Jeans readers, meet ombre. Ombre is a fancy-schmancy fashion magazine pseudonym for something you may have done in playgroup. Remember dipping wet paper into watered-down paint, bleeding two colours together? Well, Prada may have a job for you. Originally stolen from the aforementioned designers' Autumn/Winter handbag line, this practice of two colours pinching each other's mojo is going to be everywhere.

In closing, please note: what we refer to here is but metaphorical theft. Skinny Jeans will not be bailing you out, should you decide to swipe a pair of non-metaphorical slingbacks in Topshop. Dummy.